All Things Birth and Postpartum From A Doula - By Natalie Buchanan
Hello followers,
My name is Natalie, and I am a mom of two beautiful, healthy little girls. My daughter Adley, who is almost 3, has taught me so much, and more importantly has inspired me in all that I have been through after her, to follow my passion in ALL things birth & postpartum. Throughout the crazy postpartum trauma, I had with Adley, I learned so much that when it was time for my second birth, I felt way more prepared, and along came miss Austyn, who is now, shy of 10 months – yes, I had a covid baby!
I am so beyond grateful for my journey, and I can say that now because I am no longer in pain, and I have now created a platform where I am sharing all the things I have been through, that I felt blindsided by. My hope is that in all of my experience, good & bad, I can help bring education to a new and/or struggling mama.
As I begin, I’d like to start off by saying I am incredibly blessed to have had pretty easy-going pregnancy experiences, and more importantly my husband and I were lucky to make healthy babies. I believe every mom’s experience to make a family is unique, and to the ones specifically, who have been through fertility or any form of medical trauma, you are real life superheroes. Not enough people understand, or take the time to understand what goes into IUI and IVF procedures, and I just need to acknowledge and applaud that, as I personally am in school finalizing my Doula certification in Fertility, Birth & Postpartum.
When I got pregnant, back in 2017, I was the first of all my friend circles. I was always told “I’d be first” and to be honest, I couldn’t disagree. I have the most incredible family, and I think I had always wanted to be a younger mom. So here we are! The day we found out I was pregnant (happened much quicker than we anticipated), I really didn’t know what to do next! Looking back now, I am so thankful I messaged a friend on Facebook, who I knew did ‘something’ with babies, but I had no real idea what her role was. I found out through our first phone call, she was a Birth Doula, and I am so thankful now that I hired a doula, alongside my midwife. One, for the amazing support she offered, and two, because I fell in love with the idea, that her job, was exactly what I want to do! 3.5 years later, I am in school learning everything from IVF procedures, to how trans couples make a family and everything we need to know about birth, and finally taking that step in following this passion of mine. I guess I need to somehow be grateful that even though we are all navigating a pandemic, I was able to choose something that would mentally stimulate and excite me, and that was all things related to becoming a Birth Worker.
My journey has definitely had its ups and downs – as all of ours do. The hardest things I have been through after having babies involve multiple unexpected procedures. The initial issue I faced, was an anal fissure; a small, but mighty tear in your anus. For anyone who can relate, you KNOW the pain they cause. Something so natural, like a bowel movement, would cause so much anxiety and pain for me, every single day. My first labour was 37 hours, I had every drug (not what I had ‘planned’) to try and help my stubborn cervix dilate, which is super common for a first labour. I am a big believer that all the drugs, were the reason my initial bowel movement after Adley was so terrible, that it caused me to tear, in the last place you want a tear! My husband travelled for work every weekend, I was trying to navigate this new role as a mom, while breastfeeding a child and being in so much pain just from sitting on a couch. Hemorrhoids and Fissures are a BEAST. They are stubborn, and can be hard to diagnose as to what is what. I tried every ointment, every diet, every ‘solution’ possible. I think I just ended up believing every doctor, or specialist I saw who would tell me “you have chronic hemorrhoids”, drink plenty of water, make sure you eat lots of fiber and stay active… YA, THANKS GUYS FOR NOTHING.
Fast forward 3+ years, and where I am now, and ALL that I’ve learned. After my second child, I had issues again, and it wasn’t until 4 months ago, 6 months postpartum with her, that I finally put my foot down, put MYSELF first, and got to the bottom, no pun intended, of my issues. This is what the last 6 months of my life have been:
July 2020 – a beautiful, pain medication free labour (5cm dilated for a week, laboured in the tub, had her within 2 hours)
October 2020 – Found out my IUD, the form of birth control I chose, took a joyride in my lady parts. It perforated my uterus and I waited to get into a surgery because all OR’s were booked because of the pandemic we are in
December 2020 – Surgery to remove my IUD that has made its way into a tube, not aggressively enough to do damage, but have 2 scars to show for that removal. Keep in mind, I have a 2.5- and 4-month-old at home while my husband also works from home and takes care of the small humans
January 2021- A fissure presents itself, shortly after New Years. I believe all the stress, and hormonal change my body went through within 5 months, led me to this “burn out”, and physically my body was OVER IT. I also pushed myself too hard in the working out department, big lesson to learn after #2
Feb 2021 – After trying all the ointments AGAIN, ordering things from the US online, also switched doctors to get fresh advice and wanted to feel like someone actually cared about me, nothing helped. I ended up meeting a Colorectal Surgeon (god bless her) and she suggested we try botox. There I was, getting 4 needles, and 100 units of Botox in my bum, at 30 years of age
March 2021- Botox didn’t work, next step, book a surgery. On March 9th, I had a lateral internal sphincterotomy. A procedure, again I was put out for, and they essentially make a tear opposite to the current tear to encourage the initial one to heal naturally, when the tension is released.
April 2021 – PAIN FREE BOWEL MOVEMENTS!!! Finally feeling like I am on the mend, like for reals though. Unfortunately, gas will pass a little easier than before surgery but I will TAKE that over constant, stubborn pain when going to the bathroom
I think we as woman, when we are in pain postpartum shrug it off as ‘normal’, in all aspects. Pain or being uncomfortable when working out, or peeing ourselves when doing so, pain associated with sex, or bowel movements. Whichever it is, I think we have become almost conditioned that we just tell ourselves oh its all apart of the recovery, but truthfully, I think that’s bullshit. After learning and experiencing all that I have, and truthfully, going through hell at times, I cannot encourage enough that we as women, NEED TO ADVOCATE FOR OURSELVES. Do your own research, ask ALL the questions, switch doctors if you don’t feel your being taken seriously. You are the expert of your body, don’t ever forget that!
You can find Natalie on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natalb_doula/