Reet's Journey
Blogging is something I have wanted to do for many years. It has always excited me and scared the crap out of me because I have to put myself out there. I'm looking at it from a positive perspective. I'm facing my fears, documenting my life and learning along the way. So the time feels right because my intentions are clear and positive. I want to practice writing and getting better at it.
Putting myself out there for anyone to see (also nerve wracking). I know having a blog it involves work like everything in life, work is something I am not afraid of or shy away from. It's always worth the work. I welcome exciting opportunities for growth. I like the idea to have a place to look back at my life and how I grew, changed and evolved. A digital footprint or e-diary. I have no more excuses or time to waste on why I cannot have my own blog. Today is the day to make the next part of my dream come true.
When I am not working on moving across the country during a global pandemic all within 3 months (LOL) or being a Mama bear or working on content for the blog. I love hiking my new neighborhood, exploring all the best restaurants my neighborhood has to offer (before and after Covid), watching all kinds of cheesy girlie Romcoms, One Tree Hill, Sex & the City and The Food Network etc... (the list is just to long)
I am a true Sagittarius in that I am and love all things fire, I am a positive, independent, strong-willed, loud, energetic, world traveler and love to explore the inner workings of the minds: I need a healthy social life as much as I enjoy sitting on the couch, with a face and hair mask on with a cup of tea or wine. I am the biggest fashion, fitness, home décor and skincare junkie. I am on a transformational mindfulness journey in developing my mediation practice. You will find many posts dedicated to women’s health, nature, beauty, motherhood, travel and of course, what started it all, fashion and outfits in the coming months as I figure it all out.
Be gentle on me with your comments as this is a safe place to share for me and others. A place I hope people can find some laughs, love and maybe even some tears because all that good stuff is part of our beautiful life. I hope I can inspire you to believe that anything is possible if you live each day in love and have faith. Truly believe it will work out. It always works out the way it should as we all choose our lives and our future. We just have to do the work on ourselves in order to truly experience this earth and the world.
I have learned life is a journey not a race and patience truly is learned by living through all of our experiences good and bad.
Excited to share all my experiences on my blog. As much as I can. Good, bad, ugly, funny sad and happy. All of them. After all that is the purpose of my blog to help me grow and help my soul glow. I writing has been very healing and helpful during many time in my life.
Especially during Covid. I will be sharing in future posts all the tools and techniques that help me live my best healthy happy life. Mental health is very important to us all and some of these skills and tools have seriously saved my life at times. I feel its important to share what we learn especially if it can help others.
I was born and raised in Punjab, India until I was 7 years old. Then I was moved to Burlington, Ontario in Canada by my immigrant father who left my mother when I was born and moved to Canada, which I only mention because it had such an impact on the person that I am today. Growing up as an Indian kid in a mainly white neighborhood and going to school with only a handful of minorities in Burlington, Ontario made me always aware that I looked and was different. Different in those days was not a compliment as I know it to be now.
Born into a Punjabi family that had a strong Sikh heritage, I remember my birth mom always saying Sikh prayers and mantras. Hardest working women I know she had a calm presence to her. I have only beautiful memories of her and this sacred religion I do not know much as I would like about Sikhism. In 2021 I will dive a little deeper into this part of my history and spend some time learning. It seems to be calling me. I would slowly love to learn all the rituals and ceremonies, holidays. Spend some time learning to make some of my favorite dishes as a kid and experiencing them with my daughter and husband. Excites me just thinking about it. I remember my mom always covering her head, kneeling and kissing her elder’s feet. This was a sign of great respect in the family in the Sikh culture. I have glimpses of having a Sikh life full of strong powerful roots and heritage.
Large part of the reason I do not know a lot about my Sikh heritage is because my life all changed right down to the religion when my father brought my older brother Harry and I to Canada. You see my dad had a whole other life in Canada with a new wife and son. My half brother Rob (There's nothing half about him, he is my brother). My stepmom is a lovely woman who is Guyanese and was Hindu when I was a kid. She lived a life practicing Hindu prayers, rituals and mantras. She showed me how to make Guyanese food often. Some of my absolutely favorite dishes I'm drooling thinking about it. The time I spent with her when I was younger she raised me Hindu and teaching me lots about her Guyanese heritage. I have such fond memories of Saturday morning prayers, burning incense listening to Hindi music, drinking chai. This memory feels like a safe place in my inner child capsuled in time.
I think because it reminded a lot of my birth mom a connection that kept some of my connection to Indian heritage alive.
I'm not sure how old I am but I love this picture of me. It's the only baby picture I have.
My father as I knew him wanted little to do with the Indian culture. W were only allowed to speak English at home. He would only speak English to us when we first got to Canada. Punjabi was my first language. Now as an adult I can barely speak it. I still have an ear for it when I hear someone speaking, I still understand it if they speak slowly. LOL. We were not allowed to have any contact with anyone Indian from our past. He kept us isolated from our culture and our birth mother in Burlington. I felt like he was trying to make us this family that needed to fit into this image he had of success and a picture-perfect life that look shiny and fancy on the outside and miserable, troubled, sad, abusive on the inside behind closed doors.
I remember him to have only one main goal success, money ambition. He loved fancy things like nice cars, homes always fashionable. Not always a bad goal. Its a lonely sad goal without love and connection in my opinion.
He wore a turban in India when he was a young man from pictures. I believe he cut all his hair in Canada. My father was a troubled soul as I look back now as an adult. He was not happy within himself and many of his life outcomes unfortunately having me was one of them from his words. From what I have been told he had an arranged marriage to my mother. This is quite common in Indian culture. To appease his family, he got married to my mom and had my brother and me. He was also a doctor in India. Unhappy in India with us and wanting a bigger, better life he came to Canada by himself when I was 2 months old. Unfortunately, he would have to do all his schooling again if he wanted to practice medicine in Canada. For a new immigrant with little money. It was not an option for him. He worked many jobs including working at a KFC working up to a manager position, he was a taxi driver, limo driver (even drove Wayne Gretzky when he was still on the Oiler). He found the strength, drive and discipline to work multiple jobs and do night school and got his insurance license. Working hard again up the ladder at Manulife and then leaving to open his own business an Insurance Brokerage in the late 80's. He was a smart driven man. I know my hard work ethic and keen fashion sense were an influence from him a positive thought I like to hold on of him. I know now he did the best he could with what he knew and had in the life he lived. He took his anger, frustrations out on us because he lacked self love for himself. I took the brunt of his anger because I was the girl that he did not want, in his words, worthless, ugly and would not amount to anything also that I would be a failure. Not bloody likely. Not this girl.
My stepmom converted from Hindu to Fundamental Baptist when I was about 10-11. This was a pivotal moment in hers and our life. My father never practiced any religion much, but he told us to do what our stepmom did. Baptist is a strong, strict religion in my experience. I have a sore spot inside me and found it traumatic when I think about it because of my experience with the Baptists church. (I understand this is not every Baptist church) I hear other religions are strict and extreme. From my experience Baptist was by far the most extreme strict religion I experienced. The beliefs in the Baptist church felt more like strict conditions. A set of rules to follow to be part of this church. Rules that included following a strict dress code and rules to live by. I do not have any issue with following rules if they make sense and are for the greater good. Some of the rules I had to follow were women only wore dresses, must be longer than my knees. No TV's in our house, no going to movies, no worldly music, no socializing with anyone in our church or that was not a Baptist. So many other rules that to me did not feel very Godly. I felt so judged and learned more about judging that ever before. I lived this life from 10-17 years of age. A very pivotal age for a girl in school, going through puberty all while being taken out of health class because I was not allowed to learn about my body and sexual education. During a time when kids and teens already feel awkward learning about the changes in their brains and bodies I was told to sit outside the class while all the other kids learned essential knowledge for life. This decision was made by my father. I think it made him feel powerful and in control by asserting so much control. This was a very dark period in my life and the trauma from the past I consciously and intentionally work on healing as I know it will be a lifelong journey of healing wounds I received from our childhood.
I moved to Hamilton, Ontario when I was 17 couple years after my dad passed. He had been sick for many years and finally passed away at the age of 39 in 1995. It was not a shock his death, however death is strange as a child. You do not understand it as an adult but as a child you do not realize the true implications that you will never see them again and you will never get answers or a sorry. When he passed my stepmom, and I had a falling out. I no longer wanted to be a part of the church she went to. I felt I did not fit into her world as I was her step kid and all the grief we both felt was overwhelming. My beliefs no longer aligned with hers. As sad and hard as my fathers passing was it no longer had a hold on me, and I felt like I could choose for myself what my life was going to be. I no longer wished to live my life in the church. I set myself free from living under the rules of the church and what I was suppose to do and be. My happiness mattered more to me than the uncertainty of the future and not knowing where I was going to live.
I moved in with a family from my church that no longer attended the church. They took me in and treat me like family to this day. The new family was soon to adopt a beautiful baby girl from China in 1997. She is my sister Chloe.
Hamilton is only 20 minutes away but culturally to me it felt like the other side of the world. A world I belonged in a world I finally felt like I fit in. It was a great place to grow up. I made lifelong friends and family. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to grow up in both cities and love them both equally. The experiences that have helped shape me to become the person I am today.
I enjoyed high school (as much as one enjoys high school as an awkward immigrant shrimp of a kid in mainly an all-white school) After I graduated high school, I tried college, not really knowing what I wanted to do or having much direction I took some business and arts courses. Not really finishing any program I started. Really was not in the head space.
In my 20's I was more interested in living it up and partying and exploring my limits in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). Having some great times and of course drinking way too much sometimes for pure pleasure and other times just to help numb the lonely pain I felt inside from my traumatic childhood. I was always grateful to attract kind wonderful loving people in my life. I made some amazing connections that I call family and friends. There are always many people that come into our path, others came to teach me a life experience or lesson and moved on as we all do in life.
30’s is when I really wanted to start this blog. (I even did for a short while in 2014 and then fear got the better of me and I shut it down). In my 30’s I was also becoming aware of old childhood trauma, old wounds that come up at times in our lives that are stressful. I spent time healing some aspects of the wounds. The key was I was learning tools to use, to cope with triggers in my busy life.
My 30’s were all about growth, traveling, finishing school, self discovery, facing life challenges in health, revaluating my career, facing fertility issues. There were also some of the most amazing moments and successes that happened in my life. I married the love of my life my husband Bay on Feb 18,2012 after 3 years of dating. Had our beautiful daughter Mila on January 8, 2017) at the age of 37, I left a career in the corporate world that was not making me happy anymore several years before having my daughter to go serve at a restaurant back in 2016. Yup, I left a well-paying job with benefits, all sorts of perks to serve in a restaurant. You see the corporate career was taking a toll on my health and I have my suspicions that was causing me not to get pregnant. My body was constantly under too much stress and demands. It was one of the best experiences of my life to make a career change. It was super scary. I think because I truly made a choice based on my happiness over money and set myself free from crazy expectations, I had of myself or this success and wealth based on others expectations and living a life of comparing. (Don't get me wrong, I enjoy money just like the next person, not at the expense of my health). I knew I could make more money and that is exactly what I did serving. I was having the time of my life engaging, serving, feeling passionate about helping people and trust me I had no issue with making tips. I have a social personality and can easily connect with people.
I am turning 41 next week and let me tell you. 40s so far have been let’s get F*#king real. The year 2020 has been a special year to be 40. There has been a world pandemic, major life moves across the country and major mental, spiritual shifts in the last year. Feels like a year on steroids I keep saying. It has been exhilarating to say the least. As difficult and challenging in many ways it has been this past year for myself and many I know. I know it's been one of my best years as far as I can remember for self growth, self awareness and most importantly self-love. I am living my life, pursuing my dream. Knowing and believing anything is possible if you get up and make a choice to be happy and do what it takes to be happy everyday. I have never lived so in the moment and in the present as this year. I have been blessed to have many diverse careers just like my personality. I like change life experiences and love the school of hard knocks. My favorite way to learn is through hands on and life experiences. No better teacher than failure.
My jobs have consisted of such diverse nature just like me and my personality. I have done order taking at a pizza call center, (cashier & bulk/produce assistant manager at a local natural grocery store, order entry/accounting clerk at a car magazine, receptionist at a Ford dealership, print/direct mail coordinator, accounting clerk, implementation manager for a medical software company, executive assistant, server, barista, sales consultant.
Today, I am honored to have had some incredible life experiences in motherhood, my relationships, career, travel and health to name a few topics that I want to document and share.
Maybe something in my experiences will help someone in need or maybe going through their own challenges and need to read a few encouraging words. I hope you can find them on this blog. Keep going who ever needs to hear this. The world is our playground and ever changing. Keep dreaming and I promise tomorrow is a new day.
Please be patient and gentle on me with your comments. I am not a techy person. I am learning with the help of my husband and the google how to navigate this blog site. I am doing it on my own, so there may be glitches from time to time or a link that doesn't work. Please feel free to email me any comments and feedback if you notice something not working.
I hope to learn constantly as I have to in creating this blog. This is a passion project I have always wanted to do. It is something I am doing for me. Go big or go home baby, I guess. (Muhahahahaha)
That is how I like to do things jump right in, best way to face your fears and prove my fears wrong. They were all in my head all along.
Stay tuned for lots of fun crazy adventures coming up I'll be sharing about. Through this journey I am embracing lots more fun hobbies. I'm having fun learning photography so I can have some nice pictures. I also have a nice camera available to me to learn on. All about challenging myself and embracing technology. It's not going anywhere. So I plan to become techy.
2020 was a rollercoaster ride on full speed and now we're coming to a brand new year full of possibilities and potential to do great things.
In the coming weeks and months I plan to have FAQ section setup where I can answer your questions pertaining to blogging, my outfits, whatever I can answer to help.
Also, I would greatly appreciate if YOU readers would tell me about yourselves (personally, one of my favorite post ideas for the future) is you will get connected and post questions then I answer those same questions back. There will be an entire section dedicated to all thing’s motherhood coming and as far as outfits, I will try to break them down by season and note where I purchased it, to the best of my ability. I hope you enjoy!