Living the dream, I never knew I had - By Cari Gangaram
If we can all agree on one thing, it’s that the COVID-19 pandemic sucks. It has been challenging and it has taken a lot from us. But, during this darkest time of my life – during the moments when my mental health was on shaky ground – something magical happened: I “accidently” found my calling.
I became a full-time virtual fitness instructor.
Okay, okay – I know when I say “accidently” my members and friends react and say “But, you were destined for this!” My response to that is, what I mean is I accidently fell into the greatest dream I didn’t know I was destined for. Let me explain.
When Covid first hit, I was 44 years old, in a larger body, recovering from a lifetime of disordered eating, restrictive eating, and extreme exercising with the sole purpose of shrinking my body. I mean, why else did you exercise if it wasn’t to burn off what you ate or what you were going to eat (or drink
). Sound familiar? I’d guess that there are so many of us who suffer from this lifestyle. So, in early 2020, I was finally breaking up with the scale, going to the gym daily with my husband and my friends, using that time to support my internal and mental health, and enjoying the socializing that came as a result. I LOVE people, talking, noise, crowds – all of it. I thought, “This is it! I am finally on my way to a healthier relationship with my body and mind!”
And then, COVID-19 hit. The gyms closed. The socializing stopped. The new relationship I was building with my body and mind was in peril. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Dramatic much?? No, I am serious. I learned how fragile my recovery was; how much I depended on the gym and friends to get me through the day; how much those endorphins helped me focus and steered me away from the bingeing, purging and excessive need for scale validation.
My best friend Ashley, who lives in another town, suggested we meet on FaceTime and workout together to stay accountable, as both of us were not motivated to workout at home. We got up early, met on FaceTime, and did this every day. We got creative with our lack of equipment, and soon other friends asked to join us. We were all lonely, suffering and in need of some type of connection. Suddenly, we outgrew FaceTime and we tried this new ’ “Zoom” thing. As lockdown continued, more friends joined. For 45 minutes every day, we all forgot what was happening outside – we laughed, we tried new things together, and every now and then we had some tears.
I don’t know how to explain what happened over those virtual hang-out/workout sessions, except to say that it was a little bit of magic.
During this time, I earned my certification in the first-ever Virtual Fitness Instructor Specialist course by Canfitpro. THIS is where my “accidental” dream became reality. After months of leading friends through daily virtual workouts, it became obvious that becoming a virtual fitness instructor could be my new career. It was exciting and even a little intoxicating, but I also had to confront some scary realities. I wondered how on earth would I ask my friends to pay for my services? Was I even worth it? As a 44-year-old rookie instructor in a larger body, all these insecurities were now heightened. What if someone who doesn’t know me wants to join? Will they take one look at me, see my body and laugh their way right out of Zoom? But I had a vision for fitness classes that made ALL women in ANY body at ANY level of fitness feel safe, feel valued and feel successful. This is when everyBODY Fitness with Cari was born.
All 44 years of my insecurities, brainwashing, self-doubt as a woman in a larger body, looking literally like nothing I see on social media under “Fitness” washed over me. I summoned the courage, took a big breath, and sent out a schedule with fees to those in my circle. My friend Jodie always says “Feel the fear and do it anyways” so I did it. I felt the fear HARD. And I buckled up ready for rejection.
I will never forget the first person who transferred fees and officially became a member, my friend Kelly. I looked at my phone and cried – like ugly cried. The tears came again, as more and more friends, and friends of friends, paid for memberships. I am still in awe today.
I’ve learned a lot during this pandemic. I learned you can do hard things, you can shake society’s brainwashing, you can find your value in this world, you can change your dream, you can defy the odds, you can change your career, and yes, you can find some wonderful, unexpected things in the middle of a pandemic when you have the right tribe backing you, believing in you and pushing you to the finish line.
You can follow Cari's journey email her or join her tribe on:
Email: everybodyfitnesswithcari@gmail.com
Facebook at:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/701499783739324
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/every_bodyfitnesswithcari/