"Desire & Dreams, No Matter Our Age" - By Angie Trkulja

Health and WellnessLifestyleReet's Journey

May 6

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When you observe the portraits above, what are your thoughts about the art? And what about the person who drew them? Would you consider them talented? Perhaps someone who studied art at an accredited institution? Do you think that he/she is an accomplished artist?

Well, I’m here to tell you that I, Angie Trkulja, am the artist of the portraits which were completed when I was 14 years old. No training, no instructors, no encouragement. I had DESIRE and I had big DREAMS of attending an art school in New York City which was searching for raw talent. My childhood was wrought with trauma, so I was shy, insecure, vulnerable and ignorant. I was easily influenced by other peoples’ perceptions that you can’t make it in this world as an artist. And there ended my hopes and dreams for a career in fine art.

The traumas were never addressed, and I found myself lost – on the outside of myself. The desire to be accepted and loved dictated that a persona be created to fulfill everyone else’s definition of a “good” girl, daughter, human being. Gina was my nickname and Gina would become the outside world’s acceptable version of myself.

The next 10 years can be described as depressing, miserable, aggressive and oh, so very, very, angry. Socrates once said, “From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate.” And hate I did.

Many years later, a wise older gentleman friend gave me some advice…

“Make yourself a target and people will aim at you.” THIS was my ah-ha moment. I grabbed it by the ass and ran. My thoughts turned inward, I sought professional help and my healing journey began. I killed Gina with a painting - a fitting demise, I thought. There was no going back. I developed a ravenous need for education – I read every inspirational business book I could find. I enrolled in night school. I carved a path for myself – if I couldn’t be an artist then I would find a career that requires a high level of creativity (not necessarily the artistic kind). Everything I put energy into, paid high dividends. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” became my mantra. I learned to forgive, became stronger, more resilient and embraced the concepts of forgiveness and gratitude. I was in control of my life for the first time…I felt lighthearted and liberated. Eventually I learned to love all of me.

Although art did not become my career, being creative has played a part in my life on an ongoing basis. Drawing, painting, floral arranging, etc. have all been avenues I’ve explored. After retirement, I began making jewelry – it started with simple bead stringing and has culminated in wire wrapping and metalsmithing. I can now proudly say I am a juried artist with my own online shop. My product is considered jewelry. However, I prefer the expression “wearable art” because it is truly a reflection of my creative soul, my emotions, senses and femininity.